The Only One

 The Only One

In the past, Chinese families always wanted baby boys because they thought that baby boys in the family make people feel proud and baby girls were shameful for their family. Low-income families especially needed baby boys more because boys are stronger than girls and could help families do more jobs. Before the One-Child Policy, every family wanted to have many children. Many families had a hard time raising their children and many children died of hunger. In 1997, the Chinese government implemented the policy of only one child per family. If the first child was a daughter, people could have only one more child for a total of two. China’s government forbade couples from having a third child, whether the second child was a boy or a girl. This situation happened to my family and me when I was fifteen years old.  My mother wanted one more child that she didn’t like One-Child Policy, so she planned to leave her home country.

In the beginning, I felt free when my mother told me that our family was going to move to the United States. I didn’t need to answer my relative’s questions anymore, which caused me to feel free. Because I was the only girl in my family, my big family wanted my parents to have a boy. Each new year, my relatives came to our house, and then they would ask me why don’t I tell my parents that they should have another baby or they would say “Don’t you want to have a brother?” It was a usual question for the family for any first baby girl in China. Their questions and persistence made me feel bad. All those conversations made me feel that I would not play an important role in our big family. In Chinese tradition, men are responsible for making money, and women take care of children at home. That is what I thought as a girl who was born in China.

In addition, I should also be thankful I could have a good education in the United States. If my mother stayed in China, I might not have an excellent education in my life. It was hard for a typical family to give their child a high-level education in China. China has a population of 1.4 billion, so there are few opportunities to provide a good education for children from low-income families. Due to the large population, students only have one chance to take the university entrance exam. If a student gets a terrible grade, she/he has to choose to find a job or repeat high school. For example, I went to high school in the United States, and my SAT scores allowed me to go to a university. I didn’t choose to go to university, so I chose to go to college to improve my grammar skills. When I have enough credit, I could transfer back to the university. In the United States, there are many opportunities to go to college. People who live in China have few opportunities to improve themselves because they live in a different social environment from the United States. My mother affected my life forever that I could have many options in the United States. 

Finally, my mother’s decision made our family earn more money in the United States. It was challenging to change the low-income family’s life in China because it was not easy to find a job that could support a family’s household spending. I felt lucky that my current life is better than what I had in China. My parents earn more money than what our family had in China, and they could support me to learn more skills. In China, my parents did not have the money to let me take art classes, which is my hobby. After our family moved to the United States, they could afford my art class cost. Moreover, I have tried to work hard because of what my mother has done for me. My parents and I wanted to stay in Chicago and have a house in the United States, so my family worked hard and saved money to attain our goal. The goals made me have a dream in the United States,  I worked hard and could have a good result. My mother influenced me in many things, so I have learned to enjoy my new life. 

I believe that many families faced the situation of family planning and son preference in China, but they haven’t found an excellent way to solve it. I am very grateful to my mother for her decision to immigrate to the United States for me. If someone asked me why I wanted to immigrate to a foreign country, I would answer them a girl who did not play an important role in China, she moves to a new country and now has a chance to start her new life. My mother played an essential role in my life because she always uses her way to support me to do what I want to do. Finally, I should thank my mother for making me become a confident young woman. I wish I could use my way to give support back to my dear parents too.