Relationships

 

Jinming Huang (Jessi) 

October 18, 2020

Relationships

 If someone asks me what was the biggest change for me when I came to the United States, I will answer them that I am not as dependent on others as I used to be in China. When I was in China, I was a person who relied on friends, and I needed the company of friends for everything. Although becoming independent is very helpful for becoming an independent person, I still miss being able to rely on other people as before. Coming to this country, I realize that I miss the close relationship between friends in China.

         When I was in school in China, my relationship with teachers and classmates was special and close. I spent more time at school than at home. My study time was long, from morning to evening, from Monday to Saturday. Most students lived in school, and in high school there were about eight people in the same dorm, so the students are familiar with each other. I always found someone to stay with me when I am late for class, eating, shopping. After I came to the United States, the biggest difference was that after class, I couldn't find anyone who could eat together every day or who could go shopping anytime. Most students have their own things to do. Everyone seem busy. They have their own jobs and children. It is difficult to find the same free time. Another difference is that students and teachers in the same class and rarely change in China. In the United States, I have different teachers and classmates every semester. Teachers and classmates are very friendly, but I am an introvert. By the time, I get closer to my classmates, a semester is over. This makes me very sad.

        In China, when I had difficulties, my first reaction was to ask friends or ask for help from people around me. I am a person who depends on friends, and friends are usually happy to help me. People and also share various information about gossip, work and play. The person around me was take the initiative to ask for help, even  enthusiastic. If I go shopping for vegetables, the woman next to me will take the initiative to tell you which vegetables are fresh, and will share with you how to cook them better. Because people think that helping each other can make our relationship closer and many Chinese believe in the causal loop. For example, if you help a certain person now, there will be others helping you in the future. In the United States, when the prople had difficulties, they usually to solve them by themselves. If they can't solve them by themselves, they can ask others for help. When I see that everyone is independent, I become embarrassed to trouble others. Although this is training my ability to solve problems independently, I feel something is missing. The human touch is not as strong as in China.

In China, I have a tacit understanding with my friends. Because we have known each other for a long time. For example, we laugh after seeing a certain picture or a certain sentence. I don't need to explain what I am laughing, and friends will understand the reason. We can also reminisce the stupid things we did together before and have many memories in common. We just need to find a coffee shop and we can sit there and chat all day.  I have thought a lot the differences in culture and environment between the two countries, and I worry about whether I will cause misunderstandings because of my lack of understanding of culture or poor expression skills. I will  worry about embarrassment because they  don't understand my funny stems.

    Since coming to the United States, I have realized how important and rare the intimacy between friends is. I miss my classmates, friends and roommates in China very much. The days I spent with my friends became a memory I will not forget.

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Praying to Buddha

         I like Buddhist culture. Listening Buddhist lessons was my routine in every weekend in China. When I was worried about my life, I would like to go to a temple where I could pray to Buddha. Since I moved to Chicago, I could not continue this habit. There are not many Buddhist temples in this country, and each of them is far away for me to go a Buddhist temple in Chicago. At the same time, there are not as many Buddhists as in China. Due to this reason, I have forgotten the feeling of praying to Buddha in a temple since I immigrated to Chicago.

        When I was in China, I liked to explore different Buddhist temples in Guang Zhou. In the Buddhist customs, different Gods control different magic, so during the Chinese New Year, some people have to visit three or more temples to ask for good health, good fortune, good wealth and good job in the coming year. I like this tradition and I always follow people praying in Buddhist temples one after one. Praying in a temple could make me feel stronger and energized. Buddhists liked psychologists who often gave me good suggest for my life. After praying, I felt my wisdom has increased and I had more energy. That was why I liked to go to the Buddhist temple. I found a Buddhist temple near Chicago Chinatown, but the decorations did not as great as the traditional Buddhist temples in China. They are too simple. So I could not have the same feeling and I was disappointed.

        In addition, I used to cook vegetarian food and buy flowers for worshiping Buddha on the first day of Chinese New Year and some special days on the Lunar calendar in China. I was so excited to prepare vegetarian food, flowers, and incense sticks to the Buddhist temple. In Chicago, even though I live in Chinatown, it was easy to forget the traditional days of Buddha customs. On the other hand, I liked going to the temple with my family or my friends before I moved to the United States. Right now a few people could share the emotion with me on those special days. Most of my friends and relatives are busy in this city. So I really miss the relaxing moment with my family when praying in the Buddhist temple. 

        Beside the worship, I loved to go to the Buddhist store to look for small meaningful trinkets. I like to smell incense, because when I light the incense stick, I can feel peaceful and relaxed. Also, I like to buy books about Buddha, because some books can inspire me about how to live my life. In the Buddhist store, I always bought some little gifts for my family. For example, when my mother had some health problems, I bought a wooden necklace for her which was written some symbols that means be health. With the gift, I hoped she would get healthy and happy as soon as possible. However, now that I’m in Chicago, it seems difficult to find a Buddhist store near the Buddhist temple. It is not convenient to me to buy something in the Buddhist store. 

    Since I left China and moved to Chicago, I could not go to the Buddhist temple frequently. I visited the Buddhist temple only twice in the past two years. One of the reasons is the trip took me too much time to get there, the second reason is the temple gave me strange feeling not like in China. Finally, when I prepared the worship food, there were some materials that I could not find and my worshiping felt lonely. Therefore, I think I lost my way of praying to Buddha. 

Candle's Day

 Nicol Garcia

September 27, 2020

ESL 100

Final Draft

Candle’s Day

Candle’s Day is the favorite holiday for most Colombians. Each December 8th is one of the most important and fun holidays of the year, but the fun end when I arrived to live in Chicago. Since I have been living in Chicago, it has been impossible to celebrate my favorite holiday. Besides, when I arrived in the United States, I realized most was like my original country. Candle’s Day will always be my favorite holiday even though I cannot celebrate in Chicago because of the different traditions and customs.

When I lived in Colombia, my whole family and I met at my grandmother’s house to celebrate Candle’s Day. Usually, everybody comes to grandma’s house the previous night. Even though it is a tiny house, everybody found a bed to sleep in. I always slept with my five cousins in the same queen bed. My cousins and I hardly slept because we spent the night telling jokes and telling horror stories. Those were the best nights for me. The next morning, we got up at 12pm or even 1:30 pm, and the rest of the family was ready. We just waited for the night to come to eat and light candles. Since I have been living in Chicago, Candle’s Day is not the same. My uncles, my aunts, my cousins are not here, and even the tiny grandmother’s house is not here. My parents try to make this day fun, but nothing will be the same. Sometimes I get sad because I know my favorite date of the year will not be celebrated like before.

Additionally, the most traditional food in Candle’s Day is the Buñuelos, Natilla, and Colombian tamales. I love December for tasty food. The Colombian tamales that my grandmother made were the most delicious. The tamales are our breakfast and would eat accompanied by hot chocolate and special bread. Besides, at midnight we eat Buñuelos and Natilla. I always fought with my cousins for the last Buñuelo because my grandmother just made a few of them. For me, it was the best food is in Colombia. On the contrary, in Chicago, just a few stores sell Colombian products to make Buñuelos and Natilla, and I cannot find any restaurant to buy them. It is to hard to eat my favorite meal in a city that does not even sell it. Otherwise, if I found one the taste is totally different. That is why I am one hundred percent sure Colombian food is the best for me.

In the same way, Candle’s Day is a great day to do many activities to have fun. On the morning of December 8th, my uncle had to find the ingredients to make the meals, and my aunts went to the beauty salon. In the meantime, my cousins and I went to buy candles, candies, and more candies. At 4:00 pm everyone was ready with our best clothes on. Music was one of the main parts of this day, so from morning until the next day, the music was playing out loudly. We started to light candles around 8. Moreover, we played with fireworks, but we must be careful because in Colombia it is kind of illegal. When the candles were finished, it means time for the party. And then, the whole family even the whole neighborhood was dancing, and drinking some beer. During my first year in Chicago, I tried to do almost the same activities, but my parents were working. I was in school, so I tried to make this day seem like any other. I did not even buy a candle, and we did not even dance. Now Candle’s Day for us is as common as any other day. Sadness, my favorite holiday in Chicago does not even exist, and I cannot even celebrate.

Since I left Colombia and move to Chicago, I have forgotten how to get a great family time and eat the delicious Colombian food. I forgot the peace that I feel knowing that my family is fine, and I can see it. It is sad to not celebrate this day as a tradition for the past two years ago, and it will surely be so for many more. In the same way, it is hard to think all I must do to really feel adapted to a new country. The weather, the customs of this country, the different taste of food, and the distance that my family is, do not allow me to celebrate Candle’s Day. I promise to my family that all this sacrifice will be reflected in my future. I trust in God that I will see my family again soon to celebrate with them.

 

The Taste

 

In China, if people wanted to taste different types of food at the same time, they would visit Guangzhou. Many people from all over the country moved to Guangzhou for jobs, so it has food and restaurants from each state of China. In China, everything can be an ingredient. The ingredient includes animals that fly in the sky, swim in the sea, and live in the forest. For example, there are some unusual dishes, like roast pigeon, snake soup, and deep-fried insects. Before I lived in Guangzhou, I could not imagine that all these special dishes from each state of China served on the table. When I was living in China, I often felt shocked about why it could be an ingredient. Honestly, it was a challenge for me to eat snake soup. Even though these foods may sound unusual, I still miss them so much. There is some Chinese dishes that I have lost which are Niu Gu, Cai Huo Zhou, and spicy and sour noodle soup.  

The part of my favorite food that I miss the most is Niu Gu. Niu Gu means beef-bone. The best part of Niu Gu is not the meat around the bone, but the beef-bone marrow. Most restaurants offer straws to customers because it is hard to eat. When I lived in China, I usually went to eat with my friends at about 2:00 PM because this dish is usually sold from 1:00 PM to 5:00 every day. The restaurant used fresh bones to cook every day. They bought the beef-bone from the company about at 3:00 AM. My hometown is Kaiping which is next to Guangzhou. Niu Gu is more popular because it tastes better than other places. It had a secret recipe from their great, great grandfather. The secret recipe also included some Chinese medicine. I tasted the scent of the beef bone in my hometown when I was nine years old. However, after I moved to Chicago, I found that the meat tasted different. I could not find the Niu Gu which was the same as my hometown, and this made me feel sad.

Moreover, the food that I miss the most is a congee that is cooked with firewood. People call it “Cai Huo Zhou.” I loved Cai Huo Zhou because it tasted softer and sweeter than a congee that cooks with gas. The firewood’s burning area was bigger than the gas. It fully heated the bottom of the pot that cooked the rice at the same temperature at the same time. I still remember that I felt excited when my mother drove me to eat the congee. That was my first-time eating Cai Huo Zhou. It was soft when I put it in my mouth. After I finished, it still had a very strong rice fragrance around my mouth. I usually added a preserved egg and pork in it if I had a sore throat. Sometimes a congee can be used as medicine. When I had a fever or sore throat, my mother would buy congee for me. In the United States, people do not use firewood to cook and restaurants cook with more MSG. The congee was different from China because it was sticky. It looked like cooked rice with a lot of water but was not a congee. During this pandemic, I have tried to cook the congee at home, and it helps cure my nostalgia. 

Furthermore, spicy and sour noodle soup is special food for me, and I miss this from my diet. It also comes from other states in China, but it had changed its taste to please the people in Guangdong. When I was nineteen, I loved spicy food because of spicy and sour noodle soup. Once my best friend called me to go to eat spicy and sour noodle soup. It changed my impression of spicy and sour noodle soup after I ate it. The surprising part for me was the ratio of spicy to sour was perfect.  It came with a few side dishes and various vegetables to choose from at the restaurant. I got to know different types of spicy after the waitress’s introduction, like Hunan spicy and Sichuan spicy. I thought most people who lived in Guangdong prefer sweet and spicy. When I felt stress, I would go to eat spicy and sour noodle soup with my friends. It was a way that made me relax because it was spicy enough that made me sweat. It was also a level of spicy that I could accept. In Chicago, I tried spicy and sour noodle soup, but it tasted different because it had a heavier taste. The types of spicy and sour noodle soup were different. I hope I can find a restaurant that spicy and sour noodle soup was the same as my hometown.

 

Consequently, since I moved to Chicago, I miss my Chinese food a lot. I cannot find any food instead of them, or the taste is similar. I realized that my taste has changed since I moved to Chicago five years ago. It makes me feel unexpected is I would have a cold after I went out to eat every time. I never imagined that the MSG would affect me so much. Currently, I accept some tastes of American food. I can accept a little MSG, but I hope MSG will not affect me anymore in the future. If people move to a new place, and they cannot find their familiar food with their hometown, they can try to find the new taste that they prefer. I know it is hard to change the world, but I have learned that it is easier to change myself.

Loss of Tradition

                                                               

China has a long history and many unique traditional festivals. Similarly, the United States has many festivals based on its western culture. I have been living in the United States and experienced its festivals for eleven years. However, I feel that I have lost some tradition about my motherland, China. China has various ethnic festivals, and one of the most important festivals is the Lunar New Year. The New Year is a joyous and peaceful festival when family and friends can get together. It’s a bonding experience for family members to deepen their relationships. However, I can only have nostalgia for it after coming to live in the United States. 

One of the reasons why I miss the Lunar New Year is because it is full of festive atmosphere. I have a dream that I can return to China during the Chinese New Year and relive the strong atmosphere. The Lunar New Year is very lively because there are various entertainment activities during the festival. I really want to have those experiences again, but it has become my wish since I left China.  People celebrate the New Year in various ways. In addition, People spend about a week of vacation with their family members, visiting relatives or calling friends for parties. Furthermore, people will say blessings to everyone, such as “happy new year (san nin faai lok)” or “wish you prosperity in the new year (gong hei fat choy”). Having a Lunar New Year was a luxury for me since I came to the United States. The Chinese New Year is not a holiday in the U.S., so my family doesn’t have time off during the festival. Therefore, we cannot spend a good Lunar New Year together in our new city. 

Another season why I miss the Lunar New Year is it has a lot of colorful celebrations.There are some celebrations and activities during the Lunar New Year in Chicago’s Chinatown every year. Some stores and restaurants are decorated with Chinese New Year features, and lion dances are performed on the weekends around New Year's Day in Chinatown. Although it can reduce some of my homesickness, the festival celebrations are very different. The Lunar New Year is a traditional festival in China, and the holiday lasts around one week. The entire country celebrates the New Year, and the annual festival activities make people never get bored. Furthermore, every part of every town and city is decorated. They decorate the streets with various flowers, hang lanterns on the ceiling and red envelopes on the walls. Everyone can feel the beauty of the motherland and the joy of the New Year all over the country. On the contrary, the Chinatown in Chicago is too small, and it is always familiar every year. Thus, it is easy for people to be bored with it.  

The last reasons why I miss the Lunar New Year is because it has a custom that friends and relatives can get together in the new year which is called “reunion”. I tried to spend Lunar New Year with my family or relatives in the U.S., but I was so disappointed that it was difficult for us to really enjoy it. Although I have some relatives in the U.S., they are very busy with their work or study during the Chinese New Year. Although we could meet each other sometimes, I didn’t feel the active atmosphere like China. I called the relatives to have a party during the festival, but their enthusiasm was not high. Perhaps the Chinese custom has gradually because they have lived in the United States for a long time. people have dinner with their families on New Year’s Eve every year. It’s one of the most abundant meals of the year, and every family uses chicken as the main dish. My family eats dinner in the U.S. every year, but we cannot really enjoy it. For example, we had a New Year’s Eve dinner last year. My daughter quickly finished her meal without saying a word, and then returned to the computer desk to continue her homework. My children grow up and receive education in the U.S., so they don’t know much about the meaning of the Lunar New Year. The only happiness for my children of the New Year is that I give them lucky money in a red envelope on the first day of the New Year because it's a Chinese tradition. 

To conclude, what is lost in translation for me is the sense of community, decorated streets and the reunion custom. I have tried to adapt to the American New Year instead of the Chinese New Year, but I still miss my friends or relatives in my motherland. I sincerely hope that my generation can inherit China’s traditional festivals forever. If there is a suitable time in the future, I will return to China with my family and experience the Lunar New Year.